tears
stream down into this makeshift beard
unkempt
no need for that which has no consequence

tears
because the only thing that matters is His love
uncontrolled
here weeping in His arms

first at meant life

where sun and moon are snuffed
earth and water fade
time is silent
capsized life
obliterated
cease to begin except for grace
given legs to run to freedom
shed this shell
speed to real existence
gasp first fresh breath
life as it was meant
life to the full
glory in being made
a creature of beauty
large in creation
exploding with meaning and purpose
eyes trained to see
and voice to speak
loved by name

for it is me
finally me
and it is you
finally you
no more what we wanted to not become
liberated
uncontrolled with joy
the fresh snow in hot summer never noticed until now
weep at such as this

one the brink

ages past
these last few months
watching the imaginary rain fall on the windows
of this small glass heart

really, asking the wind
what is the world like now
since i have been absent these days
inhaling the smoke of my unsacred self sacrifice

dancing intoxicated by belief
in a thousand impossible things
one such as this has never believed in before
wincing at wounds

open to new horizons
seemingly stretched by the orange of the dusk sky
silent
what is this seen

come flailing up from deep blue bottom
too alive to scream
one glimpse of beauty
forced to breathe my first

failing at sleep

tonight i write by not writing
saying all those things
in my head
to myself

or just parts of all those tried these past few weeks
so it goes like


blue eyes
tried to write tonight
but looks like it will have to be
tomorrow when the sun comes up
and shows me pain again

or one night

lifted above the clouds
slow like an angel
to see what will be
lain on this heart and
then this page
but slow like an angel

and then closer

when it's night
all the moments dance
in my head
a picture show
without a sound
where you spin and spin

where we all spin
muddled together
until the pain forgets
who it should bother

and these words just
appear like apparitions
like you are tonight
a ghost in my head
trying to keep us at bay

but these words fail it may seem
fail me as sleep might come
falling deep and deeper
into something unclear as of yet

a sleep that promises joy on waking
so it goes
still sleeping

cold in the morning #12, anticipated

if you stare long enough
you can see the ocean.
words whispered while the
sun drowns itself once more
in the raging sea
formed as black glass
from this distance

quenching herself finally
in the liquid desert
leaves me alone to befriend
the night amassing
at head and foot

silent now in a strange familiar place
thoughts making mind crazy
insides wrenched and dark
fighting to not embrace
eternal winter of the heart
while surrounded by fresh spring

one last prayer before restless sleep
may strength find me for one more day
only to rise tomorrow
cold in the morning

just words

sleep
let your dreams tell you
it doesn't matter
this day brings not
that which is real

it is you
it is him
there must be forgiveness

it is sun
it is moon
there is time to forget

it is autumn
it is june
what was it that happened

sleep
and all will slip away
for time was
long ago

before snowflakes rested on my eyelids

Autumn rain on their lights

So I guess you are my girl if you
look at me like that.
The lights from the bridge appeared beautiful
Especially when viewed behind your face
The whole picture
you and the bridge and the lights
They, high into the sky moving
as it seemed
From our vantage point in the car
Yes and the rain like the tears of these buildings.
And the roads like the lengths of hair
Freshly snipped from the buildings
you watch
Like a river separating two banks
One of peace and one of excitement
Or one of fear and one of love
Both connected by this bridge
Where of course the lights look
beautiful
From this large town
Only towers of light now show
Driving all terror and question out
Including the useless thought
For straight lines and straight minds
Illuminated and wet from
Thousands of lights and even more
thousands of rain drops
Bright shiny and clean
Crisp with the fall that nearly reaches the city
But never comes in
Would you see a stroke of nature
No, yet in the hills
Would you see such towers and
bastions of light
And how beautiful it looks behind
a face
Like two people to have
The city and the face
The lights and the rain
The buildings and the road
Fear and peace and excitement and love
With few clouds
Floating like we are on this
bridge
***
So then wonder like so many
disenchantments
Crowds the bridge and the face is
not so clear
Let alone the lights wet with rain
And the towers only seem to be half here
The wind like so many times before
Blows in this large empty space
Where air is not of existence
And trees care not for leaves of any color
And light cares not for any rain to
make it clean and sharp
Words like paint run down to a
low lying spot
To hide from the wind that will not arouse it.
Blue and white fog covering what might be
And always what is never
So all is obscure and shapeless
As thoughts try to bring to form
the formless
Rampant little birds that call yet
hide forever
Just on the edge of this lighted circle
All the while hearing them fall.
***
This bridge does show a great view
of the lights
You are observant of such slight things
Seeing the birds fly here among
the lights
Lets those few times of other thought fade
Like a small boat just out of an occasional rapid
Or the turning off of the static on the tv screen
Rain falls gently on the lighted towers
Cleaning, sharpening, clearing the buildings
and road
Of so much that makes the true beauty
hard to see
Like the whole picture is always
beautiful
When it is seen in the background
of your face
Still I guess you are my girl if
you look at me like that.

all the true words

it is tonight
this night
speaking words from those
past and ones
we may have
leaving tired man open
to pain
to joy

this place
known so well
and yet every moment
new
would it cry
if it could

and what will the
heart of you say
tomorrow
the next day
when its leash is broken
when its voice, beauty
is thunder in the dawn

what will be left
when you wake

unfinished

when the light on your
face
flashes in memory
small pictures
fresh from bright future

when the night rain
is
the fingers on the back
and neck
awakening heat

when searching wild world
brings

on monday

couldn't play today
last time that i noticed
thought i could
remembered when all that stood in the
way was time
it is gone now
laughed
hid the cries
saw the clouds roll in
ran out to meet the rain
got cold
ate
sat in the chair and twirled my hair
brushed my teeth
nothing on tv
thought about eating again
nothing to eat
went to sleep

there was a ball, the governor danced,
a tree fell, we bowed to the queen

woke up and stared till dawn
drew a picture of it all - sleeping

possible escape

i lie awake in bed at night
and think about the birds in flight
when one falls straight to the ground
the forest kings gather round
the wind then howls and the earths quake
for the birds, kings and i lie awake

whistled and sang all day...

you were at tip of mind
are today
and like yesterday
cannot go without seeing your eyes
saving me at this moment

now waiting under low light
contemplating your face
thoughts
breath on stars
near future
am i your next suicide
falling through orange clouds

writing a book
will you read it
will you play you in the movie
in the picture box of my life

tears on your lips
mine swimming in your ocean

together

we would
hold hands
and jump
as long as I promise to not let go

not un understandable
wrapped in thought
that jumping
may be the only way
to get past this
this time

because as you request
I will not let go

first of season

send your strength
swirling down on new woken head
words clear
and powerful on the wind
in this first of season
refresh my soul
take your place as joy of my heart
light your presence on my tears
streaming now in your closeness
tell me who you made me to be
your love
a child lost in your hands
alive in your majesty
remind me why it is
that my eyes cannot be torn away
from your being
resting now on my form
covering the landscape of my life
bringing me home once again
through my frozen winter

che piacere vederti

what is your name
when you are called
can the trees speak it
in whispers
softly to the night air
swing in moonlight
bring it all back
take it in
to the comfort
of bed
of early morning
promising more sleep

open one eye
other hidden in pillow
body lost in sheets
and warm in blankets
are those the leaves
turning
falling
taking my memory
to a rest
and then blown far
too far
where nothing is

and the loss
of your name
on the breeze

untitled no. 3

dancing on the roof in the rain
made the pain not so
real
or the conversation that much more
interesting.

the world stopped
throwing us from the nest in the
grass towards the open flame
in a small moment

did your eyes open and see
the brilliant unthought
life

to emerge from a thinking
to reality
or finally putting a face on
and trying to come up with a name

for this new birth
of a being

slapped in the head
pinched the arm
and still it is

waiting backstage of the world

eve of the new year

who stole the moon
singing songs in the dark tonight
will the cold wind
shock my mind awake
and help me find myself
walking home alone

how many hours
lain slow on the floor
have seen me put all at disposal
to have sun set
on nothing left
who is at the bottom
of what this life has been
awaking for morning of the next year

go to where you are not
so dreams cease and reality begins
moving into what this already is

spend the afternoon
walking through the silent pines
laughing with the flickering sun rays
drinking fresh at cool river
regaining heartbeat under orange clouds
breathing again at my own pace
learning the sound of my name
joining the journey of purpose

a new moment